As the Frey accounts his experiences we see him continue to struggle with self-identity. He also has to struggle with decisions that may affect his future. One of the major trends in the character of James Frey is that he has trouble following the rules. He started drinking and smoking pot at the age of ten, well knowing that it was illegal. He continues having trouble following the rules as he is not allowed to have interest in anyone at the treatment center. He ignores this as he spends increasingly more time with Lilly after their first secret meeting (in the last post).
We now see the how role of Lilly becomes even more important in the novel. As Frey falls in love with Lilly he has less of a problem dealing with his withdrawal. He uses Lilly as a “replacement addiction.” It seems, however, that they both are relying on one another. They are supplying one another’s need for human understanding. We see the character’s similarities and need for one another as time goes on. They both continue as if they are inexperienced in matters of love, and as though they are both extremely fragile. Frey shows his improved understanding of relationships, he says: “Lilly needs to talk about her feelings about her worries about her fears. I let her. I encourage her. I listen to her” (290). This quote shows that Frey is more aware of human needs and more open to taking care of them.
Again we see how Frey is becoming more gentle with the feelings of those around him. After a meeting with his parents, Frey hugs them. He describes the situation: “I step forward, put one of my arms around each of them, and they each put one of their arms around me. We pull each of us pulls and we hug each other the three of us hug each other it is strong and easy and full of something maybe love” (308). This is a very profound quote as Frey uses the word love, to describe an emotion he may have. To go from pushing away when his parents hug him, to actually being able to hug them on his own, and say it is easy, shows a great change in James Frey. Frey struggles on with his emotions and self-identity but so far we have seen immense changes in his character, giving us a hope for his future that was not always there.
2 comments:
Hm! James Frey seems to have a very interesting way of thinking-- it reminds me a lot of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time... kind of autistic, systematic way of looking at things. If you've ever read Ender's Shadow, by Scott Card, there's this one quote by the calculating Bean; It went something like, "She needed a hug, and it cost me nothing, so I gave her one" (this is of course paraphrased). Frey, like Bean, is learning to balance human need against desire. And if Frey has fallen in love and truly overcome his desire to rebel, then he really is on his way to recovery.
I think that the reason why he doesn't follow the rules all the time is largely due to a need to have something to make himself proud of. By being rebellious, he can think "I went against what I was supposed to" and feel a sense of accomplishment. His drugs and drinking leave him feeling empty and worthless, which is why he has the need to rebel.
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